THE RULE OF ROMANCE ROULETTE
Wife: “I sort of remember where. We were in the drive-in, of all places. We never really necked or anything there. It cost too much to get in, so we thought we should watch the movie. The bucket seats were impossible. The backseat was full of junk like hubcaps and I think some large part of a transmission. The car always smelled like oil.
“I remember looking over at him watching the movie. It was some type of horror thing, and he looked ready to jump. I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, but I hated those dirty bathrooms. Early in our courting, I sort of went to ‘freshen my makeup,’ usually with two or three other girls on a secret signal known only to women. Now I just said it. I don’t know why. I said I had to pee. I surprised even myself.
“He seemed relieved at the distraction from the movie. Before, he might have said okay and sort of let me go. This time, he climbed out of the car. I mean climbed, because this was in the days when boys somehow modified the car so it was about five feet off the road. He came to my side, opened the door, reached behind my seat, and took out a small stepstool that he had made just for me.
My own exit stool from his magic chariot. As silly as it sounds, I was moved. He seemed embarrassed, but walked me to the bathroom, waited for me, walked me back, and helped me climb back onboard. I just remember from that time on, things seemed different. Very romantic, isn’t it. I still use that dumb stool to reach the top cupboard.”
HUSBAND: ‘ ‘It was at a wedding. I remember clearly. I never thought of it until now. I was the best man, she was the maid of honor. I never saw her looking so beautiful. She looked more like a woman than ever before. It sort of struck me how very mature and beautiful she was.
“It was one of those dances when the bride and groom start out and the wedding party follows, one couple at a time. When it was our turn, I sort of felt shaky when I took her in my arms. She looked right into my eyes. Everyone was looking. It was like everyone in the room saw it happen. I fell in love right there. It seemed like we were the bride and groom.”
Two different times for this couple, but each person was able, with some encouragement and questioning from me, to discover their’ ‘bonding imprint.” It happened to you, even if you are having marital trouble or feel that maybe you never really fell in love. If you “paired up,” you bonded, at least for a while. Try to recount your bonding imprint for your present relationship. Taping it or writing it down seems to make it more real for most couples.
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